GH: MI
by Dory'n'Confu
Summary: The TAPS Ghost Hunters crew finally decide to travel to Michigan to investigate, and things don't quite go as planned. CROSSOVER COMING SOON! Anyone wanna guess who it is? xD. Crack. Silly STANGOness. R&R please!
1. Reed City, Pompie's Pizza Place

Disclaimer: WE DO NOT OWN TAPS, GHOST HUNTERS, POMPIE'S OR ANYTHING TO WITH ANY OF THEM.

* * *

_5:32 PM July 15th 2009  
TAPS Main Office, Rhode Island_

"Ready to go see what Kris has in store for us?" Jason asked his best friend and working partner, Grant. The two had finished up their job at Roto-Rooter and had cleaned up, excited about a new case they were going to investigate.

"You bet!" He grinned, following Jason farther into the building until they came upon a conference type room with a grinning Kris in it.

"Hey guys." She greeted as they sat down across from her. "I received a case from Michigan that I thought you'd be interested in."

Jason and Grant looked at each other with interest. "I don't think we've been to Michigan yet."

Kris laughed. "Well, I heard it's really beautiful there, so I'm pretty excited."

"So where exactly are we heading?" Jason tilted his head to the side in a questioning manner.

"Um..." Kris looked at the papers that were in her hands for a moment. "Reed City. We'll be investigating a restaurant called Pompie's. The fact that they may be haunted is scaring a lot of people away, and the owners have been losing a lot of business because of it." She explained to the lead investigators.

"Oh, wow, that sounds bad." Grant commented.

"So what kind of paranormal activity is going on up there?" Jason asked his next question.

"Well, mostly there's objects moving around and electronics going on and off and play by themselves. Apparently there are also 'ghostly figures' that appear around the alley next to the restaurant late at night." She flipped some of her hair behind her shoulder.

"Huh, that sounds like your run-of-the-mill type of haunting." Grant looked a little baffled as to why it was scaring away so many people.

"You're right Grant, so hopefully we can help these people." Jason looked back over to Kris and shook her hand. "Thanks for the case."

"No problem!" She said coolly, now shaking Grant's hand.

"Alright, well, let's get everybody together and packed up.

-x - x - x - x - x - x -

_4:48pm July 17th 2009  
Minutes away from arrival..._

The drive to Michigan was pretty much uneventful. They were about 10 minutes away from Reed City, taking two TAPS vehicles to the investigation. Steve, Tango, and Kris were in one car and Grant and Jason were taking up the rear in their own separate vehicle.

They pulled up to the pizza place, parking in the back. The owner came out greeting them, "Thank you for coming, business has been pretty rough to come by ever since the incident."

Jason and Grant looked at each other than back at the owner. "What incident?" Jay asked.

The owner motioned for them to follow him. "I'll tell you as we walk, its easier to explain."

They walking inside through the back door of the kitchen. "Well, it must've been about 3 weeks ago. It was about 9 o'clock, the store closes at 10. Some high school football game had just ended so our business was busy as usual after a school event happens."

Jay and Grant nodded. They continued walking into the main dining room.

"The place was just going crazy with ghost activity." He said motioning to everything around them. "Pinball machines were going off by 'emselves, Woman came running out of the bathroom saying they saw a shadow or something in the mirror. Chairs were moving in the dining room..."

They nodded again. "Well thanks for calling us out here, we'll see what we can do to help."

The owner nodded also. "Thanks for coming."

Jay and Grant walked out back towards the rest of the team. The Hunt was on.

_9:00 PM July 17th 2009  
Pompie's, Reed City, MI_

"Help me lift this?" Steve asked Tango, referring to a large case in the back of the van.

"Sure." Tango walked over, lifting the case until it was securely on the ground. "So what do you think about this place?"

"What do you mean?" Steve's voice was a bit muffled, he was back inside shuffling around things while looking for something.

"I mean, this was _supposed_ to be a restaurant, not some small pizza joint." He mumbled.

Steve's head poked out. "Why should it matter?"

Tango shrugged his shoulders. "I just feel kind of like we were lied to so we would show up."

"Well." Steve paused to collect his thoughts. "I understand what you're saying, but does it really matter? I mean they're people who are in need, and did you think that maybe they tweaked it a little because they thought we were more likely to show show up and help?"

"I guess so." Tango answered, and Steve was about to say something again when Kris showed up from out the back of the building.

"Hey! Need any help?" She stood there expectantly.

"Yeah." Steve answered, before tossing her some cords. "Follow Tango and I so we can hook this up."

Both conversations dismissed, Steve jumped down from the van and with help from Dave they carried they large case inside with Kris in tow.

_11:00 PM July 17th 2009_

"Lights out! Let's do this team!" Grant said. Jay and Grant walked into the pizza place first, while Steve and Tango investigated the alleyway next to it. Kris was in the Van watching the equipment and video.

Grant turned on his recorder. "Jay and Grant in the main dining room of Pompie's pizza place. If their is anyone else in here, can they make a noise or do something?" Grant said, they were both sitting in one of the tables in the dining room across from each other.

Jay jumped slightly. "What the fetch?"

"What?" Grant asked.

"I swear something just touched my...well, my ass..."

Grant choked out a small laugh. Then went serious when he saw that the pinball machine had lit up. "Look at that." He said, getting up and walking towards it. Jay followed and looked under it to see if it was plugged in, it wasn't.

"That's odd, it's not plugged in."

"Check out the high score." Grant said.

Jay's eyes widened. "Damn, our little buddy here's a pro. Is there someone here with us?" He asked aloud.

"Ye ouch! Jay I told you not to do that in public!" Grant yelled.

"Do what?" Jay asked, he voice sounded distant. "I'm over on the other side of the pool machine now."

Grant rubbed his but where it felt like someone had pinched him. "Never mind, lets go in the kitchen."

_Meanwhile in the alleyway..._

"Gee, it sure is dark down this alleyway." Tango murmured, close behind Steve.

"It's almost midnight, what do you expect?" Steve retorted, pulling out a thermal camera. "Let's scope it out first to make sure no one is playing any tricks on us." He looked around the alley. "Nothing but a few rats here and there."

Tango walked over to a large dumpster, getting his voice recorder ready.

"Wait!" Steve yelled. "Did you lean against that dumpster?"

"Uh, no, why?"

"Because there's a large human shaped imprint, of an err, backside on the thermal on the side that you're standing near." Steve was moving to stand at a better angle.

Tango began to move away, but stopped when he heard a noise. "Did you hear that?" He whispered. He turned on his voice recorder.

"If there is anyone in this alleyway that would like to speak to us right now, do so right now."

"Who..."

"I definitely heard something this time too." Steve spoke out.

"Okay. Who who?" Tango asked the voice.

"You..."

"Me?" Tango squeaked.

"Who..."

"Oh! Um, my name is Dave Tango! I'm very friendly, I promise."

Steve was behind him, shaking his head and trying to hold in his laughter.

"I told you my name, so what is your name?" Tango waited a moment before he spoke again each time, hoping to catch some EVP's. "Why are you here? Where are you from? Did you work here? Why did you ask who I was? Are you angry or displeased?" He waited one last moment before turning it off.

"Let's hope we don't have an angry spirit. We're Ghost Hunters, not Ghost Busters!" They both walked to the head of the alley.

"Hey Jason, Grant, so uh, how are you guys holding up on your end?" Steve talked into the walkie-talkie.

_Back with Jay and Grant.._

They had just walked into the kitchen when their radio went off. _'Hey Jason, Grant, so uh, how are you guys holding up on your end?'_

Jason grabbed for his walkie. "We've had a few personal experiences...We're now entering the kitchen then we're gonna move into the alleyway, you too come on into the main dining room when your ready."

"Few?" Grant squeaked out, still holding his buttock.

Jay shushed him. _'Okay...'_Steve said through the walkie, than it was silent.

There was a sudden crash that came from the other side of the kitchen. Jay immediately pulled out his recorder. "Is there someone here with us?" He asked.

"Jay, did you see that?!"

Jason looked at him, questionably. "See what?"

"Shadow figure. It was standing next to the oven." Grant said, he pointed his thermal in that direction. Nothing out of the ordinary was there.

Jason sighed. "Probably nothing." He said walking over to the freezer. He opened it up and walked inside, followed by Grant.

"It sure is cold in here," He turned on his recorder. "Is there anyone in here?" He asked. The freezer door suddenly slammed shut. Jay and Grant ran over to it.

"Its locked!" Grant yelled.

Jason grabbed for his walkie. "Steve? Tango?"

_Steve & Tango..._

They were heading inside Pompie's to investigate the dining room when the walkie-talkie suddenly turned on, Jason's worried voice carrying over.

"Jason? Grant? What's wrong?" Steve replied back as he and Tango were rushing back inside to help.

This time Grant spoke while Jason tried to open it again. "We were investigating the kitchen, and somehow something trapped and locked us in the freezer." He looked over to see Jason shaking his head. "It won't budge."

Steve and Tango found the freezer door quickly, but to their dismay the door wouldn't even move when it was unlocked.

"I have an idea." Steve said over the talkie. "You two push the door and we'll pull it at the same time. Maybe it's just stuck."

Jason and Grant complied, and on the count of three, nothing happened. "You guys, walk around the store see if theres anything that can break this window. It seems big enough we could fit through..." Jason snorted. "What?"

"Nothing...We need to stay warm though somehow...think pizza dough can provide insulation?" Jason asked, being optimistic about the situation. He walked over to the back wall and sat down against it. Grant came by and sat next to him.

"Well, this was an unexpected outcome." Grant said, hugging his knees for warmth.

Jay nodded. "You think Steve and Tango found anything?"

"The only thing i can think of is a chair in the dining room, but aren't those screwed to the floor?"

"Who the hell screws chairs to the floor?" Grant asked incredulously.

Jay shrugged. "Someone whose obviously afraid of someone stealing their furniture."

There was knocking on the freezer window and Jason and Grant looked up to see Steve and Tango with a piece of paper and a sign. They wrote something on it and placed it against the window. It said: The batteries are dead. They were new...

"Tango, go get Kris for help!"

"What?!" Tango sounded extremely scared. He didn't want to be alone.

"Look, we can't talkie her and I don't want to leave Jason and Grant alone."

"Fine." Tango pouted. "But if I die it'll be all your fault!"

Steve glared at Tango. "You'll be fine you big baby."

"Says the man afraid of spiders..."

- x - x - x - x - x -

"Kris! Kris!" Tango yelled as he ran to the van super-duper fast.

"Phew." She let out a breathe as soon as she saw Tango. "I'm glad you came, none of the camera's are working anymore and I don't know what's wrong!"

Tango shook his head, wanting to worry about that later. "Help me find some screwdrivers and some batteries!"

Without any questions asked, they quickly found what was needed and headed into the dining room. From there, Kris began replacing the batteries in the talkie while Tango tried to use the screwdriver to unscrew a chair from the floor and briefly explain what was going on.

"I'll go find Steve so he can use the new walkie-talkie to make sure Jason and Grant are okay." Kris told Tango, beginning to leave. He swallowed, not wanting to be alone.

It wasn't long before he felt a pinch on his rear-end. "Ouch!" Good grief, what was that?!

He tried to concentrate on getting the old screws out of the floor, but they were really stuck in there. That's when he was pinched again, harder this time.

He whipped his head around. "Would you stop doing that?!" he yelled, getting frustrated and even more scared than he already was.

That was when he was _patted_ on the butt. "Okay! That's it! I'm leaving!" He stood up, dashing out the door to find Steve and Kris.

They were standing near the window still, and Kris was biting into her lip with worry.

"Where's the chair?" Steve asked.

"I... I need a little help." He admitted.

"But you looked like you were doing just fine?" Kris admitted, confused.

Tango cut off Steve before he could rant. "B-Because I'm being molested in there! That's why!" He sputtered and waved his arms around.

Kris and Steve looked at each other before they both let out a laugh. "What?!" They sound exasperated.

"It's not funny! It hurts and it's scary!"

"Okay, okay, Kris can go along with you to protect you from the Big Bad Scary Ghost!"

Tango fumed as they returned to the dining room, Kris with a little smirk on her face. They finally got a chair free and returned to the window, smashing it and knocking the glass around the edges so nobody would get cut.

Jason and Grant uncovered their heads as the glass stopped coming at them. "You guys okay?" Steve asked.

"Little minor cuts here and there, other than that yeah were good." Grant responded, and was the first one to attempt to crawl through the broken window. He was almost there when a force pushed him back inside. He landed back in the freezer with a 'Oof'.

"Grant!" Jason yelled kneeling next to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just felt like someone pushed me back in here."

"Yo, whats the hold up guys? Why aren't you coming out?" Steve shouted.

"What, you didn't see? Grant got pushed back inside!" Jason yelled back.

"Ah! Steve quit it!" Tango suddenly yelled.

"Quit what!"

"Scaring me by grabbing my...oh never mind..." Tango replied.

Kris looked around the room as the walls began shaking violently. "No wonder the guy had his chairs screwed down, they did say they had activity where the chairs were moving. Now its the walls!"

"Hurry, grab my hand!"

"Oh for the love of-- I am _not_ holding your hand Tango!"

"Okay, fine, but you owe me."

"Would you two just shut up?!" Jason growled. "We need to get out of here, quick!"

"Jay, hoist me up and then we'll pull you through the window." Grant said, trying to crawl out when he felt someone grab his ass. "What in the fetch are you doing back there?!"

"Hoisting you up like you asked!"

Finally Grant was pulled out, his hand accidentally being cut from the walls shaking causing him to fall into a piece of glass.

"Uh, guys, what about me?" Jason asked, trying to crawl out.

With a couple pulls and tugs, Jason was through the window with little scraps from the sharp glass that was still attached to the window. "Uh guys, the walls are still shaking!" Tango yelled. Everything that was hanging on the walls was now on the floor, shattered into pieces from the impact.

"Let's get outta here!" Jason yelled.

"We've never left a case early before!"

"Well, we do now!"

Tango squealed as they were exciting. "For the love of god! Stop grabbing my ass!"

Kris started laughing. "Seriously guys, I don't feel a thing."

Once inside the cars, they sped off. They could always return later for their equipment or buy more of it.

Suddenly Grant remembered something. He grabbed Jason's walkie-talkie and pressed the button. "Dave?" He called into it.

"Er, yeah, here." Was the squeaked reply.

"Did I hear you say something about being touched?"

"Well, yes."

Grant shared a look of knowing with Jason. "Could you tell me where at?"

"It, was well, it was my butt. I was pinched, patted and grabbed there frequently. It's a little hard to sit right now."

"And what about Steve?" Grant asked.

"Er, he wasn't really around in the dining room for it to happen."

"Wow. That was one gay ghost, we weren't in there ourselves for more than five minutes and he got a little friendly."

Jason broke into laughter. "Yeah, maybe that's why everyone was scared. Butts were being touched all the time."

"Hey guys, what about the evidence reveal?" Steve asked over the walkie talkie.

"What evidence?" Kris replied. "The camera's went off before all of the heavy activity happened."

"Think we can get away with an IOU?" Jason asked Grant.

Grant shrugged. "Hopefully. We can call him in the morning. I feel kinda bad we couldn't help his business. Perhaps he can move to another location?"

Jason nodded. "Perhaps."

"Hey guys." Tango's voice came over the walkie. "Let's not ever come back here again. I don't know if I could concentrate on an investigation if a Ghost is molesting me every time I bend over." They all laughed and drove off into the sunrise.


	2. Dearborn PART 1, Greenfield Village

Disclaimer: Sadly we do not own anything to do with Ghost Hunters, TAPS, Greenfield Village or LOGO. Or Taco Bell.

Enjoy more disturbing-ness.

* * *

_12:24pm July 20th 2009 _

Being back home for Jason and Grant seemed like a relief. It wasn't until they were back at work for Roto-Rooters that they recalled the traumatizing memories from the Pizza Place up in Michigan. They had received a call from someone complaining about their sink being clogged in the kitchen, and the guy was a little to friendly to them. It gave them an odd feeling to just leave and not fix the guys sink. But, they stayed anyway knowing the guy wouldn't try anything if he wanted his sink fixed.

Jason and Grant had their tools set out in front of the sink. The older Guy was standing behind them leaning against the wall. "The pipes are farther back then average peoples sinks." He said, smiling to himself.

Grant coughed awkwardly. "Right, you can go sit in the living room or something. We'll have this fixed in a couple minutes."

The guy grunted and walked off to a couch that was facing the kitchen. Grant sighed heavily. "You've got to be kidding me..." He muttered.

"Just ignore him." Jason said, bending over into the sink cupboard to fix the problem.

Grant peered over his shoulder keeping an eye on the stranger. He turned away when he saw the guy was rubbing his tummy in a circular motion. "Jay, hurry up so we can get outta here..."

Grant yelped when he felt something tap his but. "That's it! I'm leaving!" Grant got up and walked by the guy who was still sitting on the sofa.

"Is there a problem?"

Grant glared at him, knowing he did it.

"What?"

"Did you just...?" He tried to form a sentence but he was too confused as too why he was sitting on the couch.

"Did I...? Oh! That wasn't me...my pet Fufu rubbed against you."

"Fufu? Jay were leaving!" Grant yelled to the kitchen.

"I'm already out the door, Grant!"

-x-x-x-x-x-

"Hey guys! I've got a cool new hot spot from Michigan!" Kris beamed as Jason and Grant walked into headquarters.

Both of them didn't look that excited. "Where?" Jason asked.

"Greenfield Village. It seems that the Firestone Farm and Websters house have been pretty active lately."

"Really?" Grant asked, now interested.

"Yeah, the usual. Stuff moving, figures seen, etc. Wanna go?"

The two nodded.

_Last night in Dave Tango's bedroom..._

Currently Tango was sleeping soundly, dreaming of soft kittens and cuddly puppies. Rainbows painted the skies while unicorns danced to the sound of The Village People. There were teddy-bears as far as the eye could see. He was licking a vanilla ice-cream cone on a bed of feather pillows held up by four strong and solid men-- err, let's not get into that, shall we?

Tango woke with a start. Did something just touch his butt? He waited for a moment, pretending he was sleeping. He felt it again, something was most definitely touching him! _Oh my God..._ he thought, _that gay ghost followed me home and is molesting me in my sleep!_

His hand quickly shot out, turning on the light on his bed table. Pulling on his red - not PINK as Steve kindly liked to put it- robe and bunny slippers, he ran into his living room.

It couldn't molest his butt if he was sitting on it and was awake! He turned on the TV, seeing that it was 3AM, and decided to watch his favorite channel: LOGO.

- x - x - x - x - x -

He awoke hours later to light seeping in through his windows.

"I have to get ready," He mumbled. "but I'm afraid of getting naked if that ghost is still here!"

A quick idea popped into his head. "I'll get my stuff and get ready someplace else!"

- x - x - x - x - x -

_Sometime around 1PM_

"Woah." Steve said as Tango walked through the door of the TAPS building. "You look beat."

Tango didn't want to admit it at first, but he said something anyway. "I stayed up for a while last night. I-I think that ghost followed me home..."

"Which ghost?"

"The gay one!" Tango whispered loudly, practically hissing. "Something was molesting me in my sleep!"

Steve got a weird look on his face. "Oh, yeah, okay. Totally the ghost. Couldn't have been anything else. Nope. Nothing at all. Yeah, I was totally at my place last night." He paused. "Er, I'm not covering anything up I just thought you... should... know..."

An awkward silence filled the room.

"My fucking girlfriend is calling me again. That bitch! I swear to fucking God if I get thrown off the team again because of her I'm going to slit her thr-- Oh hello everybody, I didn't know you were here..." Brian burst through the door.

That's when Jason and Grant entered the room. "Brian, you're off of the team."

"Something just touched my butt again..." Tango said aloud. Then he looked at a guilty Steve who shot his hands up in defense.

"Wasn't me! Dude, I swear!"

"Did it just get really gay in here or is it just me?" asked Brian.

_9:24am July 21_

Steve groaned as he heaved the last bag into the TAPS car. "What the heck is in this thing, a dead body?!" He asked himself in annoyance as he shut the trunk door. He walked around the car and got in the drivers seat. Kris was sitting next to him in the passenger seat and Dave and Dustin were in the back, while Jason and Grant were in a separate car.

Steve grabbed for his walkie. "Were ready to go when you guys are." He said.

"To Greenfield village!" Grant said enthusiastically, and they were off.

_- x - x - x - x - x - x -_

They finally arrived at Greenfield village at about 6pm. Getting out of there cars, Jason and Grant went inside to talk to the owner.

"I swear to god if there's a gay ghost here..." Tango start. Steve started laughing. "What's so funny?" He shut up immediately.

"Steve..."

"Dude! I did not touch your bu- AH!" Steve yelled, leaping back a full step.

"What?" Dustin asked.

Steve pointed at the ground. "There was a huge black spider there by your shoe Dustin."

Dustin sighed, as Jason and Grant walked back over to them. "Alright guys we have a go to set up equipment."

They all nodded. Steve went to lift the heavy bag he had trouble getting in there. He went to pick it up from the middle when he heard a curse word. Steve unzipped the bag. "What the hell, man?" He asked Brian who was laying in the bag. "Are you retarded? You could have suffocated!"

"Who are you talking to, Ste-?" Grant said, coming up to help him unload when he saw Brian. "Brian? I thought we fired you." Grant said coming up next to Steve looking pissed.

"I just wanted to do one more investigation!" Brian said defensively.

Grant sighed heavily, knowing he'd probably stay anyway if they shoo'd him away."Just this one! After this, your gone for good! Ok?" Grant said, while Brian nodded.

"Alright, I'll go with Jason while Kris goes with Dustin and Steve. Tango you're with Brian." Grant told the team.

"What? No way!" Tango's head whipped to Grant. "This is not fair, last time I got stuck with the gay ghost and now you're sticking me alone with the crazy guy?!"

"He's not crazy, I think he just has Tourettes or something." Grant reassured.

"So you're leaving me alone with him? While I'm dying he'll stand there and just swear at me because that's all he knows how to go. Or call his girlfriend."

"You're not going to die!" Grant sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, Steve can go with you then too."

"But he molests me!"

"Tango, shut the fuck up before Jay wonders whats taking so long and you'll have to deal with the both of us."

Dustin turned to Kris. "Wow, I really missed a lot from the last investigation, didn't I?"

Kris shook her head with her hands on her hips and sighed. "You don't even know the beginning of it."

While leaving Tango glared at Steve. "You owe me big time now. I swear if you leave me alone with Brian I'll be super-duper P.O.'d at you!"

_11:00pm The Investigation  
Steve, Tango, and Brian  
Webster's House_

They walked to the staircase and sat down. Steve pulled out his recorder and started asking questions. "Is there anyone here with us? If so, can you make yourself known?"

"What kind of lame approach is that? You gotta pick a fight with the ghosts to see some action! Watch a pro at work." Brian said then stood up. "Hey Webby!" He yelled walking over to the nearest room. "Your wife's smoking hot!" He yelled.

Steve and Tango looked at each other like he was crazy. "Brian, dude. Sit back down." Steve said.

"Hell no, man. This is my last case gotta make it remediable." He said grinning at them. He then fell to the ground with a thud, like the wind was knocked out of him. Brian laughed and got back up. "Is that the- best you can do!"

"Brian, do you really think its smart picking a fight with a ghost? Maybe you shouldn't talk about his wife like that..." Tango said.

Steve looked at his camera as the screen suddenly got dark. "Not now. These were brand new batt- JESUS!" He yelped standing up and getting off the stairs.

"Lemme guess. Another spider?" Brian asked.

Steve glared at him. "They bite."

"Rarely.."

_11:16PM  
Dustin and Kris  
Van_

A loud scream pierced the air.

"What was that?" Dustin asked, looking at Kris.

Kris shook her head. "I don't know, but it sounded like it came from the Webster House." She pulled out her walkie-talkie.

"Jason? Grant?"

"_Yeah?_"

"Are you in the Webster House at the moment?"

"_Negative. Tango, Brian and Steve are there. Why?_"

She turned to look at Dustin with concern. "Dustin and I can hear loud screaming. We're going to go and investigate."

"_What? Notify us if you need any help._" And then the line with dead with silence.

The trek to the Webster House was filled with dread and silent toots because the TAPS team had had Taco Bell before they began investigating. Screams could still be heard the whole way there, and when Dustin opened the door he almost dropped his flashlight in shock at the sight in front of him.

"Oh my God what's going on?!" Kris demanded, pushing past Dustin. Brian was spinning in the air on his back on the ceiling, being pushed up by some unknown force. There was a strong wind blowing around, the atmosphere resembling an Exorcist movie. Brian was beaten up pretty badly, blood on his face and clothes while vomit littered the ground. He was screaming loudly and sprouting curses at the ghost to spur it on even more.

"You little cocksucker!" He yelled. "My great great grandma can spin me fucking faster than you and she's dead! LIKE YOU! I've seen a paper-plane make more wind than you and it had fucking holes in the fucking wings!"

"Where is Tango and Steve?"

"Over here." Someone squeaked. They were huddled together on the stairs.

"BITCH! YOU LITTLE BITCH! I CAN TAKE MORE!" More vomit landed on the ground.

"We need backup, call Grant and Jason!" Steve yelled, about to pee his pants.

Suddenly the entity was ramming Brian against the wall. "YOU'RE THE WEAKEST LITTLE ASSHOLE I'VE EVER MET! EAT MY SHIIIT!!"

"What in the fucking fetch?!" Grant and Jason had gotten to the house as soon as possible.

"LITTLE FUCKER! I HOPE THIS ON TAPE!"

* * *

"Steve, Tango!" Jason yelled.

"Yeah?" Was their feeble response.

"How the hell did this start?" He demanded, ignoring the constant profanities and insults coming from Brian's mouth while he was now being lifted upside down and being beaten head first into the flooring.

"What do you think?" Was Steve's answer. "Brian decided to _spice _things up a bit by insulting Webster."

"That's it, Webster we're taking Brian away! Please put him down and stop beating him!" Grant yelled.

Brian had switched positions again and was now repeatedly being hurled across the house. "I'VE SEEN BETTER THROWS FROM MY FUCKING CAT!" Brian yelled, his whole face was dripping with blood.

"Are you insane Brian! Stop it!" Tango yelled.

"No! WE NEED GOOD FOOTAGE FOR THE SHOW!" He yelled as he barfed again while being hurled into the living room. He pulled out his cellphone when he landed. "Hey, wassup babe!" He asked while the Ghost picked him up again.

"Brian, hang up the phone! THERE IS NO FOOTAGE ALL THE BATTERIES IN THE CAM WENT DEAD BEFORE THE FIGHT!" Steve yelled.

Brian's eyes went wide before he was slammed into the staircase. "WHAT?!"

"For the love of- THERE IS NO FOOTAGE!" He repeated.

"Fuck!" Brian yelled one more time before being thrown into the wall one more time and passing out.

"Is he dead?" Tango asked, worried.

"No, if he was we'd smell shit."

_11:42 PM  
Steve & Tango  
Van_

"Wowzers, didn't I tell you he was crazy or what!" Tango and Steve were taking their turn to sit in the van.

"Yeah that was pretty messed up." Steve sighed and looked down at he feet. "There's something all over my shoe, and I can't tell if it's vomit, blood or shit or any of those combination's."

"Sniff it or something."

"Excuse me?" Steve's eyebrows rose.

Silence fell as nobody knew what to say. Tango started kicking his feet back and forth while Steve stared solemnly at his shoes again.

"So when do I get to meet your parents?"

Tango's feet ceased to kick. "What?"

"You know, I think it's kinda that time where I should meet your parents and get to know them."

"Why? Why would you need to do that?" Pervert.

"Oh? So if I asked you to meet Sassy Lashes you'd turn it down? Gee, way to be a jerk Tango."

Tango threw his hands up into the air. "What does that have to do with anything! You're confusing me!"

Steve looked a little sad. "I just thought, iunno, you were my best friend and all."

Suddenly Tango felt kind of bad. "Er, o-kay. I'd, uh, love to meet your pet cat, Steve."

Steve beamed. "Really?!"

Tango smiled back. "Yeah, but promise to be really nice to my dad. He has dyslexia and these are really trying times."

- x - x - x -

_12:03 AM  
Dustin and Kris  
Firestone Farm_

"Wow!" Kris gasped, stepping inside the house. "It's so beautiful!"

Dustin nodded. "Yeah, this is pretty cool."

"Wanna just get right to it?" Kris asked, poised to investigate.

"Yeah. My EMF detector is all over the place." Dustin was moving the device all over to pick up readings.

"Mr. Firestone, are here with us?" A pause. "I heard you were the one who converted this house."

_12:21 AM  
Jason & Grant, plus Brian  
Outside Websters_

"What are we gonna do with this guy?" Grant asked Jason after they hauled him onto a street bench.

Jason sighed and shrugged his shoulders."Banish him from TAPS?"

"I wanna know why he snuck into the van in the first place. I'm beginning to think we need to get a restraining order against the guy to keep him away from us. All he does is cause problems..." Grant said sitting on the bench adjacent from the one Brian was laying on.

"FAIRY BOY STOLE MY WALLET!" Brian yelled, sitting upright fast.

Grant stared at him as he layed back down and fell back asleep. "I don't even wanna know what he was dreaming about.."

It was nice and quite for the next couple of minutes and Jay and Grant we're enjoying it. It was better than the chaos that was going on awhile ago. Within a few silent toots and awkward coughs Brian had started to talk in his sleep."Dogs...Fucking...Shit." He mumbled.

"Seriously? Why don't we just leave him here?" Grant asked Jason.

"Sounds like a plan to me. Let's go before he wakes up." They got up and started walking back towards the van.

_- x - x - x - _

_2:47 AM  
Dustin and Kris_

"This place is deader than a doorknob..." Dustin said, walking around the place. "I don't understand, my EMF was going off the charts as second ago, and now...nothing."

"What I don't understand is how doorknobs could be dead in the first place when they don't live." Kris responded.

_"Hey, guys. We're gonna call it wraps. Lets pack up." _Jason's voice came over the walkie.

It didn't take that long to get everything packed. With a few toots still left over from Taco Bell, the crew was on there way back to there hotel with an unconscious Brian and a lot of gas. Within a few minutes they were in the parking lot of Motel 8 and Kris was the first to jump out of the van coughing the second they stopped.

"That's it! No more stops at Taco Bell!" She coughed walking into her own room.

_The Next Day  
1:00 PM July 22nd 2009  
The Analysis  
Dave, Kris, Steve and Dustin_

"You know what guys?" Tango asked, looking at everyone else in the room to get their attention. "The crazy seems to have vanished if you know what I mean."

"He was... an interesting character." Kris's eyebrows had risen. "Hopefully he won't be involved with TAPS anymore."

"You didn't have to work with him like I did." Steve pointed out. "Thankfully Tango replaced him."

"Was that sincere or are you hitting on me again? I have a Stranger Danger Whistle and a can of mace ready for situations like these." Tango had his hand on his pocket. "Don't make me have to use it."

"What? No. Why would I--" Steve started to defend himself when suddenly a very scared and confused Tango pulled out his can of mace and shot it at Steve.

"AHHHHH!" He screamed, hands shooting to cover his eyes. "OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT ME?!"

"I-I'm sorry!" Tango blubbered out while Dustin and Kris had run to the other side of the room. "I thought you were going to molest me or something!"

"So you shot mace at him?" Dustin yelled. "Who the fuck does that?"

"I carry mace too." Kris said quietly, pulling a small can out of her purse. "You'll never know when some pervert will try to cop a feel."

"This is some crazy-ass fucking shit right here." Dustin looking really creeped out. "Fuck this shit I'm going to investigate with Ghost Hunters International. Bye you guys are all losers!"

There was a calm after the storm so to speak, everyone calming down from everything that had just happened.

"'M sorry." Tango mumbled.

"I'm sorry too, for scaring you." Steve admitted. "Hug on it?"

"Okay." Tango stood up. "Best Fucking Friends Forever?"

They embraced. "Does that mean..?" Steve began to ask.

"No." Tango deadpanned. "You're ruining the moment."

They both sat down in their seats while Kris sat there awkwardly. "Ready to start?"

"Yep." Tango shook his head in agreement as he put on a pair of headphones. Steve began to watch a thermal cam while Kris watched a camera.

About ten minutes in, Tango had found something. "Hey guys, listen to this."

He replayed the almost 20 seconds of sound. "What do you think that is?"

Kris couldn't help it, but she burst into loud laughter. The guys looked at her strangely. "Don't you guys know what that is?" She had to take a few calming breaths.

"I thought it was something growling." Tango pointed out.

"Yeah." Steve agreed. "Sounds about right."

"That's, well, that's a loud fart." Kris began giggling uncontrollably.

"So I just caught a really loud fart on the audio? That's embarrassing." Tango face-palmed.

The rest of the day was filled with giggles, and the trio had a perfect prank to use on Jason and Grant.

* * *

Next stop, the Henry Ford Museum and Estate House.


	3. Dearborn PART 2, Henry Ford Museum

Thankfully we do not own any of the following: TAPS, Ghost Hunters, MI Welcome Center, Henry Ford Museum, Hello Kitty, K-Mart, JoBro, Snoop Dogg, or any other brand/place.

* * *

_July 22rd 11:59 PM  
In Tango's Bedroom_

It was a very unsettling night for Dave Tango. He was constantly tossing and turning, trying to shake the dream he was having. He was dreaming of being on a backstage tour with the Jonas Brothers. Only the terrifying part was they were all trying to get a feel of his butt every time he turned around. The door creaked open in the midst of his 23rd toss, his hello kitty blankets falling off of him and onto the floor. The floor suddenly creaked loud causing Tango to wake up in a cold sweat gasping.

"It's okay, Buddy. I'm here for you." A voice said breathing into his ear which made him shiver. Tango jerked away in an instant. "What's the matter? Is it that nightmare you were having?" The voice seemed familiar to Tango now, as he saw a tattooed arm reach for him.

"Let me ease your worries..."Steve said, reaching out to embrace him in a hug.

"NO!" Tango yelled, shooting upright in his bed. He scanned the room quickly. No one was there. He sighed in relief. "Ju-Just a dream..."

"What was a dream?" Steve asked, sitting in the arm chair across the room.

"AHH!" Tango screamed again, closing his eyes tightly. He jerked upright again in a cold sweat. "What?" He questioned looking around his room for any signs of Steve. He sighed when he felt safe there was no one in there with him.

"This is really fucked up..." He sighed and tried falling back asleep.

_  
The Next morning_

Steve was the first to greet Tango as he met with the crew down for breakfast. Tango walked past him without a word, looking like he hadn't slept a minute last night. Steve got up and followed him worried.

"Hey, man. Rough night?" He asked.

Tango glared at him. "Yeah, Yes. Yes it was." He said grabbing a bowl of cereal to eat. He started munching on it, his eyes not leaving Steve. He was acting like he was going to get molested at any second.

Steve sighed and went back to his original seat next to Jay and Grant. They looked at him questionably.

"What'd you do to the poor guy?" Grant asked, taking another bite of his cereal.

"Nothing! I swear!"

_9:53 AM July 23rd_

The team by now had finished eating and getting ready, everything had been packed into the van and car and the only thing left were themselves. They were sadly shorthanded, with Brian hopefully lost and would never return and with Dustin leaving to join the International team.

"Hey." Steve asked, walking up next to Tango who was standing near the van. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Tango mumbled, trying to walk around him so he could sit in the van.

"I don't think you are, you've been avoiding me all morning." Steve stopped him. "You can tell me you know."

Tango angrily sighed. "I don't want to talk about it, geeze!" The door slammed as Tango took his seat in the back.

"Wow. Must be his time of the month." Kris joked. Then, she too, took her seat because she had excitedly called shotgun during breakfast.

Steve sat down into the driver's seat, using the mirror to look at a sulking Tango in the backseat. _S'okay little buddy,_ he thought to himself. _Steve will make it all better._

_Meanwhile back at Greenfield Village..._

"Mommy." A little boy with brown hair looked up at his mother. "What's that man doing?"

"What man sweetie?" The mother asked looking down at her son.

"That one." The boy pointed in a direction to the other side of the room. Upon closer examination, the man was swearing violently at a "Webby", swinging his fists around.

"Good grief!" The woman muttered. "People these days! I should go and report this to the security. Let's go Bobby!" The woman tugged her son away.

"I Can't believe my fucking phone is DEAD!" Brian yelled, slamming it into the pavement as tourist looked at him with shocked faces. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!"

A class happened to be walking by, and the Teacher thought it was a perfect opportunity to point something out."Okay class, this is a perfect example of why you have to finish high school and continue on at college..." A Teacher pointed out to his class of 12 that were currently on a field trip. The class nodded dumbly.

A student raised her hand in the back. "Yes little Jenny?" The teacher asked.

"Mrs. Spouty. Why is that man angry?" She asked as she watched Brian mouth off more profanities.

The teacher smiled sweetly at her. "College, dear. College. Anyway! Moving on class, this is Websters house. Home of the man who-"

"DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO BEAT A PERSON PROPERLY! MY GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDDAD COULD THROW FUCKING BETTER THAN HIM!" Brian cut her off, beating his poor phone into the ground. "How dare they fucking leave me..." He mumbled and kicked his phone into the grass.

The teacher hurried her class into Websters house for safety. "WHILE YOUR IN THERE, GIVE WEBBY MY FUCKING REGARDS!" Brian yelled to them. Many people who were walking by were gasping and covering there kids ears.

Brian stalked off towards the exit. Looking for the TAPS team.

_12:34 PM July 23rd_

"Hey, Grant... you remember that plumber we ran into?" Jason asked, while they were driving back towards Greenfield Village.

"I try not to. Why?" Grant asked.

Jason looked away swiftly. "No reason. He was weird, huh?"

Grant looked at him confused. "Yeah, especially since his pet was named Fufu...Why are you bringing this weirdo up?" He demanded.

"I had this dream last night..." Jason started, staring ahead watching the road. "It was so...vivid. Like _he_ was there."

"It was just a dream, man."

"Yeah, Yeah I know... I just have a bad feeling about tonight is all..." Jason said, dismissing the conversation.

"When was the last time we _had_ a normal investigation?"Grant asked.

Jason laughed. "Not since we've been in Michigan, that's for sure."

_1:00 PM July 23rd  
Henry Ford Museum  
The Tour_

"I'm so glad that you could make it." The tour guide smiled as she welcomed the TAPS team into the museum. They had already had the explanation of all the paranormal activity that was going on within the museum and now was the time for the fun part.

"It's a pleasure. We're really excited and grateful to be here." Grant smiled and everyone took turns shaking hands with her.

"If you could follow me please." She announced, walking toward a hallway.

The tour was going very well so far, and everyone was really having a good time until they came upon the Cars and Guitars Exhibit.

"And here we have the section of where we display the famous guitars. This first group here was used by the Jonas Brothers." The tour guide pointed out to the team.

Tango's mind instantly went to his dream from last night and a cold sweat ran down his back. Was this really happening right now? Would it look suspicious if he suddenly covered his butt with his hands or something else?

Steve had been stalking Tango for basically the whole tour, following him around from behind and instead of looking at the historic items he was staring at Tango's butt the whole time. When he saw Tango freeze, he knew something was wrong.

"Are you okay?" Steve whispered into Tango's ear, who had jumped because of it. "You seem scared."

Tango laughed nervously. "Scared? No..Please get away from me..."He said, not wanting to make a big scene.

"Whatever you say... Pal." Steve said, smiling as he walked away. Tango shuddered.

Meanwhile, Jason and Grant didn't really notice the exchange between Tango and Steve. They were having there own conversation in front of the two. "And this is Snoop doggy dogs car." The tour guide said, trying out one of her gangsta moves.

Grant tried holding in a laugh as he walked by her to look at the car, but it came out anyway. "I'm sorry.." He said, after he noticed she was giving him an offended look.

- x - x - x -

_10:55 PM  
The Investigation_

"Alright team, let's try to have a normal investigation this time. Keep it professional." Grant said sternly. "Jason and I are going to go to the basement level. Steve and Tango go ground level, and Kris stay in the Van."

With that Jason and Grant were the first to head into the building, and heading down the stairs. As they were walking down the stairs Jason tumbled over rolling all the way down. Since Grant was in front of him...it looked a lot like bowling. "Owwww... What the hell was that Jason?" Grant managed to get out.  
"I'd respond...if you would get off of me..."

"Oh.." Grant realized getting off of him.

Jason took in a huge breathe. "Someone...pushed me."

"Pushed you?" Grant asked, then pulled out his walkie. "Steve, Tango?"

"_Yeah?" _Came the reply. They seemed like they were out of breath. "_Shh! Sh! Sh!"_ Steve said into the walkie. _"Stop laughing.." _He said this last part very softly that Grant couldn't make out.

"Where are you guys?"  
_  
"Upstairs. Why?" _Was Steve cool response.

Grant gave Jason a 'Yeah, right' look."Did you two happen to bump into Jason and I?" Grant asked. "Are you anywhere near the staircase?"

_"No..."_

Grant sighed. "Well Jason and I just went tumbling down the stairs."

_"Holy shit, man! No way! What was it like?"_ He then cleared his throat. _"I mean- Are you guys okay?"_

A loud laugh was heard on top of the stairs. "Fools, it wasn't fucking them! That's for leaving me fucking behind! I lost a good fucking phone because of you!"

"Brian..."

_10 Minutes Earlier..._

Steve decided during the beginning of the investigation that he would try to cheer Tango up, since he didn't seem to want to talk about whatever was bothering him at the moment and it would also hopefully lighten the mood.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he had asked, flashlight ready in hand so they wouldn't bump into anything valuable as they walked along.

Tango had looked at him slowly, uncertain. What this some sort of trick? "What kind of secret?" He asked tentatively.

"A funny one." Steve smirked. "Remember the time we went to that small family diner, the one with the amazing blueberry pancakes?" He hoped Tango would remember, they had eaten about 5 whole stacks together.

"Yeah, sure. Why?" Tango began to become a little curious.

"Well, nobody else knows about it for me except for Dustin, and well, that's because it **is** about Dustin."  
Tango must have looked interested, because Steve had on a smile of satisfaction. "What about him?" Tango inquired as they passed some sort of train car.

"Well, afterward when we both went to use the bathroom before everyone left, I sorta found out that he, he..." Steve couldn't help the laughter that flowed out.

"Spit it out!"

"He was, he was wearing..."

"Wearing what?"

"Adult diapers!"

At first a small smile crept up onto Tango's face not sure whether or not to believe what Steve was telling him, and he grinned. "Are you serious?"

"Would I lie to you?"

Suddenly they burst out into loud obnoxious laughter, filling the air as they shared the secret about Dustin. A really _embarrassing_ secret...

"_Steve, Tango?_" The walkie-talkie buzzed on with Grant's voice coming through.

_Present..._

"Brian, look, we left you because we thought it would be better for the team." Grant tried to reason with the crazy man.

"Better?! Better for the fucking team? I AM THE GODDAMN TEAM! WITHOUT ME YOU'RE FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT NOTHING!" Brian sprouted off angrily, ending with an evil chuckle.

_What in the fetch?_ Thought Jason. _G and I are the ones who created the team..._ "Look, Brian, calm down. You're not in the right mind set." Jason tried to carefully calm Brian down. Maybe they could surprise attack him and tie him up until he cooled down.

"WHAT THE FUUUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? HUH?!" He yelled. "I AM ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT FUCKING MINDSET YOU ANAL BEAD!"

"Brian buddy you need to just chill out." Grant was trying to help Jay. "Is there medication you're supposed to take?"

Brian grabbed his head in frustration. "YOU FUCKERS KEEP TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M GODDAMN INSANE! WOULD AN INSANE PERSON DO THIS?" He turned around, fleeing from the top of the stairs.

Jason and Grant shared a quick nervous glance before they bolted up the stairs after him. At first they couldn't find him, but that was until they heard the sound of a car.

"What's going on?!" Steve yelled as he and Tango found Jay and Grant.

"Brian's gone fucking insane, that's what!" Jason swore. "I-I think he just stole a car!"

Headlights appeared and flashed on them, Brian was driving Snoop Dogg's car straight for them. "THIS IS REVENGE FOR LEAVING ME THERE!"

"Holy shit, get outta the way!" Grant and Jason jumped out of the line of sight.

"I'M GOING TO RUN YOU OVER YOU LITTLE TURD BURGLAR! YOU TOOK MY JOB!" Brian was heading straight for Tango.

"Dave, NOOO!" Steve dove to push Tango out of the way. _You're not dying on my watch Buddy..._

There was a loud screech of tires, and a sudden silence. Dave Tango uncovered his eyes, it was to unbearable for him to watch. He looked over at Steve who was now laying under the car, and then over at Brian who had a shock look on his face. "He...He was my tech buddy." Brian said, staring at him.

Dave felt a couple of tears start to form in his eyes. He rushed over to Steve. "Steve? STEVE!" He cried into his chest. Then suddenly he felt his chest start to vibrate. Steve was...laughing? Tango looked up at Steve.

"You've...You've just been punk'd!" Steve said, bursting out in laughter.

Brian started laughing also. "You've should've seen your face!" He yelled.

Tango looked at everyone around him. Even Jason and Grant were laughing. "How...Why? You guys are so mean!" Tango yelled running off.

"TANGO! WAIT!" Steve yelled, chasing after him.

- x - x - x -

_  
_  
Somewhere on some interstate headed back home, was a man determined to be as far away from Taps as possible. Dustin peddled fast on his bike he bought at K-Mart. A sudden feeling made him stop abruptly. "Someone... told my secret..." He muttered.

He turned around sharply and started riding back to Dearborn. "There's only one person who knows my secret that aren't my parents. Just...one..."He said.

A car was driving past him beeping his horn frantically. "GET OFF THE ROAD YOU MORON! THIS IS A FREEWAY!"

Dustin kept in his anger, saving it for one person. "Steve..."

- x - x - x - x - x -

"You don't think we went too far with the prank, do you?" Grant asked worriedly to Jay. "He seemed really upset." They were currently seated next to each other on the ground up against the car.

"Nah." Jason shook his head. "He'll get over it, it was just a joke. We do stuff like this all the time."

"Well, actually, we've never had an ex-teammate pretend to KILL another teammate." Grant had pointed out the flaw in Jay's reasoning. It did seem to go a little bit too far beyond a joke.

"So does this fucking mean I'm back on the goddamn team or what?!" Brian said excitedly while he also looked expectantly at the two lead investigators. "Didn't I do a BITCHIN' good job or WHAT?!"

"Look, Brian, about that..." Jason turned to look up at Brian. "I don't think it's going to happen."

"AND WHY THE FUCK NOT YOU BALL-LICKERS?" Brian looked extremely unpleased at the news. He had worked very hard at investigating and following their orders so he could be a member on the team again. He would not mess up this time.

"Okay, well, for starters you're crazy as fuck." Grant started counting off with his fingers. "Two: you smell bad, like moldy ass-cheese that some farted on, ate, threw up, ate and then pooped it out. In that order. Three: You lost valuable equipment that cost us a **lot** of money. Four: You're always calling to talk to your girlfriend at the worst time, and Five: did I mention you're crazy as fuck?"

- x - x - x - x -

Tango ran as fast as his legs could carry him, all the way back to the van parked outside. He tried to wipe away his tears as best as he could before opening the door.

"Hey." he sniffed, stepping inside to take a seat next to Kris.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Kris asked concerned.

Tango looked down at the floor. "Can I stay and investigate in here tonight, with you?" He avoided the question at first, not wanting to say anything. He really didn't feel like going back inside and being with anyone right now.

Kris bit her lip. "Okay. But tell me whats wrong." She asked softly.

Tango let out a big sigh and finally looked at Kris's face. "The team played a prank on me." He whispered, but Kris looked confused because they played pranks on each other all the time. They were a family that loved each other so joking just kind of came natural.

"It was a really mean prank." He clarified. "They had Brian go crazy and "kill" Steve..." A tear ran down his frowned face. "I was so frightened. I thought my best friend was dying..." He broke out into tears again.

"Oh, Dave..." Kris leaned forward to hug and comfort Tango, patting his back soothingly. "That was pretty mean. I don't think they've ever done anything like that before."

Finally after a few minutes they broke apart. "Thanks" Tango cracked a small smile.

"You can investigate with me tonight. I'm nice, I swear!" She joked. "Girl Scouts honor!"

"You weren't a Girl Scout, were you Kris?"

"Nah, but nobody has to know that, do they?" They laughed at that.

The door to the van opened quickly. "Kris! Have you seen-- oh." Steve spotted Tango. He stood there silently for a moment, words stuck in his throat. "Look, Dave, I'm sorry..."

"I don't want to hear about it!" Tango harshly whispered. "Just please leave me alone."

"But--"

"Steve, I think you should leave right now." Kris cut in sternly, her eyes clearly said she was serious.

Steve looked torn for a moment, not sure what to do. "Okay." he said with guilt all over his face, and after a moment he closed the door. Walking away, he couldn't help but wipe his own tear off of his cheek.

- x - x - x - x - x - x -

_Somewhere in Michigan..._

"You better watch your back Steve." a determined Dustin said harshly as he peddled his bike. "You better watch your back."

_MEANWHILE... At some random rest stop..._

Tourist were entering he Michigan Welcome Center. Dustin followed in behind them, tugging on his adult diaper. He squatted once letting out a huge smell of poop for the passing civilians.

A passing pedestrian made a face in disgust. "Oh my god! Come on, Sharon!" A husband said, plugging his nose dramatically and pushing his wife in the building. Dustin stood up.

"For Christ sakes, man!" Another man yelled at him in disgust. He hurried into his car.

Dustin ignored him and entered the building heading straight for the mens restroom. He immediately went in a stall. He pulled off his overly used adult diaper that had been squished up into his butt crack.

"ALRIGHT WHO DID IT!" A guy yelled from the stall next to Dustin. "I SMELL SHIT!"

"I SMELL IT TOO!"

Doors were suddenly being smashed opened. Dustin panicked. Dustin quickly put on his spare diaper he had and quickly ran back to his bike. He didn't have any time to waste. Steve was his target.

- x - x - x -

A very emotional Steve was walking through the Museum, alone. 'Never investigate alone.' was the number one TAPS rule. But he wasn't investigating right now.

"STEVE!" He heard someone yell.

Steve jerked around to see who it was. His eyes widened. "T-Tango?! I-"

"No! Steve, I'm the one that's talking..." Tango said, cutting him off. "I...I just wanna be friends...No more pranks, I don't think my heart can take seeing you...seeing you..." Tango started crying. Steve made a step forward. "NO! No more hugs!" He said running away.

"TANGO, WAIT!"

Steve wanted to run after Tango, to comfort him and let him know that everything would be alright. They'd be be best fucking friends forever again.

"It's okay Steve." Grant came up behind him to put his hand on his shoulder. "Everything will work out in the end, trust me."

"Do you guys really think so?" Steve still sounded a little doubtful. "I really hurt his feelings this time."

"Believe me." Jay sounded pretty confident. "I know how this story ends."

"Alright, yeah!" Steve had a good confidence boost. "I bet we'll be holding hands by the end of the week!"

"Uh, what?"

"Nothing, nothing."

- x - x - x - x -

The same exact conversation was going on inside of the TAPS van.

"Do you think everything is going to be okay?" Tango asked worriedly to Kris.

"Yeah, of course!" she beamed. "You guys are so close, I can't imagine anything going wrong."

Tango looked relieved. "I hope so."

"Me too."

Tango sighed. "Well, we might as well get back to the investigation. We've had a lot of distractions tonight."

- x - x - x - x - x -

"Come look at this!" Grant seemed excited. "My thermal shows that's there's at least a 7 degree drop in temperature over here."

"Is there any indication as to where its coming from? A draft from some place?" Jason had walked up next to him, using the thermal camera.

"I'm not sure." Grant shook his head. "I haven't fully looked around yet."

"I could check around part of the building, try to see if we can debunk this at all." Steve was trying to distract himself from the ache in his chest.

"Good idea, I'll check in some other spots." Jay responded.

Soon they all set out into different directions. Steve was checking all of the windows to make sure they were shut properly so that a draft would not cause any fake cold spots.

He was starting on his second row when he stopped for a moment, taking time to sniff the air. For some reason there was something foul stinking up the air of the museum section he was in. He wondered for a brief moment if it was a phantom smell. He'd have to tell Jason and Grant about it when he came back.

"Hello Steve." a familiar voice said from the shadows. "I know what you did."

Steve turned to the voice, it was Dustin.

Steve covered his nose in disgust. "Jesus man, when was the last time you changed that thing?!" He asked through his sleeve.

"I'll tell you when...When you discovered my SECRET!" He yelled dramatically. "I KNOW you told someone, Steve...who?" He demanded. He took out some baby powder and opened it. "Don't make me use this!"

Steve looked at him oddly. Holding back a laughter. "How harmful can baby powder be?" He asked.

Dustin looked offended by the statement."LIKE THIS!" He flung it across Steve's face right into his eyes.

Steve yelled out in agony. "OH MY GOD! IT STINGS!"He yelled crouching over rubbing at his eyes frantically.

"Of course it stings! Now tell me!"

Steve started crying. "I can't!"

"Why not?!"He made a gesture like he was going to do it again.

Steve looked down at the ground."Cause...I'd be hurting someone very important in my life..." He said bravely. Steve stood up, and wiped his bloodshot red eyes.

"Save the bullshit, Steve. Who was it?"

Steve looked at the ground, biting his lips. Dustin growled angrily and flung some more powder across his face. "AH!"

"Steve?! What's going on?" Grant and Jason had suddenly come into the action once again uninvited. "We heard a scream..."They seemed oblivious to Dustin presence, since it was dark in the room.

Dustin attacked them before they could see it coming. He flung powder in there faces and laughed manically. "DUSTIN! QUIT IT!" Steve yelled.

Dustin was tired of the old powder trick and decided it was enough being the nice guy. He pulled out some diaper rash cream. "I usually only use this for myself...but, this calls for drastic measures..."

Steve backed away slowly. "What the FUCK, man?!"

"Tell me who you told!" Dustin demanded.

"IT WAS ME!" A familiar voice suddenly entered the scene.

"TANGO?" Everyone asked.

"I was the one he told..." He said dramatically.

"Tango, NO!" Steve yelled. "You don't have to do this..."

Tango smiled sadly at him. "I'm afraid I do, Steve..." He stepped towards Dustin. "I know what it feels like Dustin, you can put the cream down..." He said slowly, while making his way slowly towards him.

"NO! You couldn't POSSIBLY understand what its like to wear adult diapers!" He yelled. "Prepare to be silenced with diaper rash cream!" Dustin made a dash towards Tango. Knocking him onto the ground. He held him down trying to force the rash cream into his mouth, but Tango was being to stubborn in putting up a fight.

"TANGO, NO!" Steve yelled. It was then a gun fire went off, silencing all at the scene.

"NO ONE, I MEAN NO ONE! TAKES MY REPLACEMENT OUT OF THE FUCKING JOB!" Brian yelled, coming into the scene with Snoop Doggy-Doggs car.

Meanwhile, Tango by now just had to lay there, his hands trapped so he could not reach anything to use against Dustin. He swallowed slowly, making sure to keep his mouth closed because the cream was inches away from his face, Dustin had gone still from the gunshot. It also smelled kinda bad, which just made things worse.

"HOLY MOTHERFATHER!" Grant yelled out as he and Jason ducked down at the sound of the gunshot. Where in the fucking fetch had Brian found a gun of all things? Then again it was Snoop Doggs car that he was driving.

That's when Jason's walkie-talkie buzzed on. "_Guys? Is everything alright? Tango left in a hurry and then I heard a gunshot..._" It was Kris's voice who sounded extremely worried and a bit scared.

"Dustin appeared, attacked Steve and now he's fucking attacking Tango!" Jason yelled into the talkie. "Now Brian showed up with a freakin' gun and is firing it into the goddamn air!"

"_Oh my God!_" She gasped. Was she the only sane TAPS member left? "_Should I do anything?_"

"No, I think we can handle this by ourselves. Don't come down here Kris, Grant I don't want you to accidentally get hurt." Jason put on his authoritative voice, his Alpha mode turning on.

"_Just make sure you update me on whats going on, I'm worried and its eating away at my nerves._" Kris thought about it for a moment, she didn't exactly promise to stay in the van.

This time it was Grant's voice coming through to Kris. "Alright, I think I can do that." The talkie clicked off.

"Dustin." Jason had stood back up, trying to look tall and intimidating with Grant by his side. "You don't have to do this."

"I have to." Dustin whispered desperately. "My secret was leaked. I, I can't let anyone know."

"NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING! IT'S ME YOU WANT!" Steve yelled with passion, angry tears starting to form. "DAVE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" That's when he ran and tackled Dustin to the ground, they began to instantly get into a fight, ass cream getting everywhere.

"STEEEVE!" Dave yelled, getting up. "YOU FOOL, I CAME TO SAVE YOU!"

"And I wanted to save you because, because I love you..." Steve grunted out as he struggled with Dustin, ass cream landing on his forehead. Tango's mouth fell open in shock.

"And I came to save the both of you, my comrades. My _amigo's_" Brian said with devotion in a hushed tone, aiming the gun at Steve and Dustin before he fired.

"OW!" Steve gasped in pain, a spot on top his lower leg bgan bleeding out onto the ground. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!"

"Woah, dude, you just got shot..." Dustin's eyes were huge from fear.

"SHIT! I HARDLY EVER MISS!" Brian swore, attempting to aim again. Before he could fire, Jason had tackled him to the ground.

"Oomph! Grant, can you grab the gun?" Jason was trying to hold Brian still.

"Yeah, yeah I got it!" Grant grabbed the gun and slid it across the room before he moved to help Jason to keep Brian from getting out of the hold he was in.

"TAKE THIS!" Kris suddenly appeared, can of mace in hand. She sprayed Dustin in the face quite harshly, before kicking him unrelentingly in the chest to get him off of Steve. It had been true, she hadn't promised Jason and Grant that she would stay in the van, not when some of the closest people in her life were in danger. She hadn't lasted two minutes before a plan formed in her head, and she raced off inside to go and help.

"Steve!" Tango cried out with tears rolling down his cheeks. He crawled over to him as fast as he could manage, cradling Steve's head in his lap. "Are you alright?"

Steve smiled up at him with affection. "Yeah, now that you're here..." he said weakly before passing out.

- x - x - x - x -

"YOU ASSHOLES! Your never coming to work in this town again!" The manager of the Museum was yelling at Jason and Grant.

Grant was about to say something but was cut off by Jason, who put his hand out in front of him. "We told you, we'll pay for all the damages, and if your still interested in the evidence we've found. We'd be happy to reveal it to yo-"

"YOU CAN'T FIX ANTIQUES!" He yelled, spitting all over there faces.

Grant pushed away Jason's hand. "Well you see-"

"I'M GONNA SUE YOUR ASSES!"

Grants eyes went wide. "Let's get outta here, Jason." He whispered to him. Then turned back towards the manager. " Thanks for the tour!" He yelled, running away with Jason in tow.

"COME BACK HERE YOU ASS-WIPES!"

Meanwhile, Tango and Steve were having there own little drama episode. Steve was sitting in an ambulance getting his 'gun shot' wound taken care of and Tango was there for moral support.

"I...I don't know what to say..." Tango said suddenly taking Steve out of his thoughts of dreams of having a tea party with Tango when there back at home.

"Huh?" He asked, focusing on Tango's chest.

"I'm up here..." Tango muttered.

Steve looked up. "Sorry...You were saying?"

"Thank you." Was all Tango could get out smiling affectionately.

"Friends with benefits?"

"Yeah, Buddy."

The paramedic tending to Steve's wounds paused for a split second, giving Steve and Tango a weird look because of the conversation they were having.

"Mr. Gonsalves, I've finished dressing your wound." The paramedic turned away for a moment to put away some of his tools. "If any of the stitches come out, go straight to the hospital, okay?"

Steve nodded his head in agreement, taking the advice seriously. "Mr. Tango, do you think you could help him stand up?" This being said, Tango quickly stood up to be a human crutch for Steve.

Soon after they left the ambulance, the paramedic returned to the front seat to sit with the driver who turned to him as he entered. "What's wrong?"

"I swear, just..." He shook his head and wasn't sure what to say.

"What?" The driver was confused. "Is this about that guy we just came for?"

The paramedic sighed. "Okay, I can kinda get it, but sometimes it's just really awkward." The driver waited while the paramedic collected his thoughts further. "I mean, yeah, you just went through a really traumatic moment and now you're rejoicing in the moment of being alive. But, it's just really weird when they forget that you're right there next to them."

The driver arched an eyebrow. "Why, what happened?"

"Okay, so the guy with the tattoos was shot in the leg, right?" The driver nodded in understanding. "So this other guy is with him and like the whole time they're making googly eyes at each before they start to talk all intimate like. And the guy who was shot was apparently staring at the other guys chest who got all embarrassed 'cause of it."

"That's a little weird, but I guess it's not that bad..." the driver trailed off chuckling.

"But that's not all that happened! They started talking about being friends with benefits and stuff when I was sitting right there, attending to his wounds!" The paramedic shuddered slightly. "I bet if I didn't say anything they would have started kissing or something."

"Wow." The driver began to laugh heartily in his seat. "I guess people really do get caught up in the moment back there."

"Lucky you." The paramedic murmured, turning to sit in his seat straight and put on his seatbelt.

Meanwhile Dave was helping Steve back to the van.

"We should probably thank everybody, especially Kris." Dave murmured as they reached the van.

"Everybody?" Steve asked skeptically, wincing a little from discomfort as he was helped into the front passenger's side seat.

"Sorry." Tango quickly apologized before shooting Steve a look through his eyelashes. "I know Brian is crazy and accidentally shot you and all, but he was just trying to help."

Steve sighed tiredly, and was about to answer but the rest of the team showed up except for Brian and Dustin.

"Hey guys." Grant greeted while Kris gave a little wave. "How's the leg?" Jason added as his greeting.

"It's fine, thanks." Steve smiled dreamily. "I gotta little juice for the pain if you know what I mean."

"Ah." Jason laughed. "The good stuff."

Tango swallowed, gathering his courage. "Steve and I have something to tell you."

"You two finally do it or something?" Kris asked that made Jason and Grant laugh.

"What! No! How is the even possible?" Tango squeaked and choked on his spit at the same time, his face as red as a tomato. "We just wanted to say thank you!"

Steve face-palmed in his seat. "That was blunt of you Kris."

"Sorry." She mumbled, her own face a little red.

"You're welcome." Grant interrupted, done chuckling. "It was a crazy situation that I guess called for a crazy solution."

"No kidding." Jason added. "That was pretty messed up."

"So where's Dustin? Brian?" Tango asked as his embarrassment faded. "Is the police involved?"

Jason shook his head. "Brian disappeared, but I have a feeling he'll be back." He shared a knowing look with Grant.

"And what about Dustin?"

"He's been put on a major probation." Jason sounded a little annoyed at the decision, and silenced himself when Grant gave him a look of disapproval. "He won't be back for a while."

"If he comes back." Kris sighed. "He did say he was leaving to go with the International team."

"...Why don't we get going?" Tango said aloud. "Steve could probably use some rest and I'm sure everyone could use some food."

"Sounds like a good plan, Dave." Steve spoke up. "I'm sure we'll find something close by."

"Alright." The lead investigators took the hint, not really wanting to talk much about the matter either. "Follow us then." Jason and Grant went to the other vehicle while Kris took a seat in the back of the van.

"Man, that means I have to drive." Tango mumbled, sitting into the driver's seat.

"Dude, I got shot in the leg, I can't drive!"

"Sorry." Kris shrugged her shoulders. "And you know how I can get so easily lost when we're somewhere foreign. Even following people."

"I know, I know!" Tango sighed, moving his mirrors and adjusting the seat. Steve ran a hand up and down his arm soothingly. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

Up in front of them in the other car Jason and Grant were about to have a discussion about something serious.

"Ready?" Grant asked, looking over to Jason who was looking back at him which confused him. "Huh?"

"Hey, G." Jason said slowly.

"Yeah?" _I wonder what he wants?_ Grant thought to himself.

"I think we should make a certain phone call now."

"Oh." Grant was relieved. "I couldn't agree more Jay." They didn't need words to know to switch seats.

Jason sat down into his new seat and smirked, pulling out his cellphone and used the speed dial.

"Hey." he greeted. "Long time no see, huh?" Grant had begun driving, the van behind them.

Grant could only hear muffled talking from the other end, but it sounded happy.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm doin' good. The team is too." Jason chuckled, looking at Grant through the corner of his eyes. "Grant says hey."

Grant rolled his eyes and laughed. Noticing a sign that indicated lodging and food, Grant drove to follow it with the van close behind.

"So how are you feeling?" Jason asked into phone. "Good good, I wanted to ask a favor of you." he paused. "I was wondering if you'd like to join the team again."

Grant was squinting his eyes, looking for the sign of the place he was looking for and that's when Jason hung up the phone.

"So what's going on?" Grant asked, finally spotting the entrance.

"Donna said yes." Jason sounded triumphant. "She said she's excited and will start as soon as possible."

"Cool."

* * *

Up next... the Bonus Chapter! This is basically were the team will be doing other things than investigating. Like they get that much done here, do they? lol.


	4. Bonus Chapter

We do **not** own a thing, and the only profit is for our benefit in currency called 'shits' and 'giggles'.

* * *

_2:14 PM  
July 28th, 2009  
The Motel, Steve and Tango's Room_

"Hows your leg man?" Tango carefully sat next to Steve on the bed. Thankfully it was just a small flesh wound, but it still hurt pretty badly.

"Still a bit sore." Steve responded, clicking off the TV. Nothing really exciting was on anyway.

"Oh." Tango said, not sure what else to say. "Did you know Donna is coming tonight?"

"Mhmm." Steve mumbled, shuffling around on the bed to get comfortable. He looked up at Tango with serious eyes. "I was thinking about adopting."

"W-What?!" Tango sputtered, mouth gaping open. Did Steve just seriously fucking tell him that? "That's a lot of responsibility! A really, _really_ big step, I--"

Steve shrugged his shoulders. "Not that big of deal. Mostly you just make sure they're fed and you give them attention whenever they want it."

"And what about when they wake you up in the middle of the night to be fed? Or when they POOP and you have to clean it? Or what about when we go on investigations, who would watch it?!" Didn't he think about any of this before making a decision?

"Look, David." Steve grabbed Tango's hand. "I've done this before. I leave mine alone at home all the time, and to be honest that why I wanted another one. To keep it company."

"Steve, what the fuck man!" Tango ripped his hand away. "How can you sit here calmly and tell me you leave a baby by itself for days and that you want another one to keep it company?!"

Steve scooted back away from Dave and looked him up and down. "What?" He sounded extremely confused and offended. But than he couldn't help himself, the look on Tango's face, and Steve began laughing at him. "I-I can't believe you--!"

Tango frowned at Steve for laughing at him, the bed actually shaking from the force. "I don't see how you can find this funny, asshole!" He slapped Steve's shoulder.

"Because you, because you thought--!" Steve couldn't stop laughing.

"You're such a jerk." Tango pouted, crossing his arms.

After a minute or so Steve finally stopped laughing, wiping the tears from his eyes and looked over to see an annoyed Tango. "I'm sorry Dave. I wasn't laughing at you. Okay, I was, but not why you think I was!"

Tango glared at Steve, unwilling to listen.

"Look, I don't know how you came to that conclusion, but I was talking about adopting a cat."

"You-- A-- What?"

"It's an animal, usually furry. Purrs, likes cream and catnip. Ring any bells?" Steve laughed. "And I can't believe you thought that's the type of father I'd be."

"I know what you mean! Shut up!" Tango huffed.

Steve shrugged again. "I just thought that Sassy might be getting lonely at home, she could use a friend."

Tango sighed, unwinding. "I wish you would have just said 'cat' at the beginning! Would have made this a lot easier for me."

"Yeah, but it was kind of fun for me, I wish you could have seen your face. You're cute when you're mad!" Steve had to quickly dodge out of the way when a pillow was thrown at him.

"Shut up!"

"Hey, hey, injured guy! Remember?"

_July 31st  
2:03 PM  
TAPS Main Office_

"Check this out!" Kris bounded into the room, excited, before dumping a box onto the table that the boys were playing cards on. Steve winced as she did so, his leg had been resting against the table leg.

"Kris, what the hell!" Jason yelled, surprised. "We were using the table."

Kris only rose an eyebrow, basically saying she didn't give a shit about their stupid card game. "I've got something better, here, in this box. That's why it's _here_."

Tango's curiosity reared it's head. "What is it?" He leaned closer, attempting to peer inside before Kris closed it shut in his face. He pouted a little at being denied the access to whatever secret was in the box.

"Nah ah ah. Secret." She smirked and wagged her finger at him at the same time, before picking the box back up and fitting it under her arm. "Follow me boys." She led the way into one of the other rooms which held most of the tech equipment.

"I hope there's not clothes in that box, and you're hoping we'll all play dress-up." Grant joked as he made himself comfortable in a chair, though his voice held it's uneasiness about the fact that it could be true.

"Relax." Kris laughed, fixing her glasses a bit as she bent down near a TV. "Tango, help me set this up?"

Just as Tango got down on the floor to help (he was also pleased to now know what was in the box, and if wasn't for the fact he was a grown man, he probably would have squealed and danced around like a little girl finding out she has just gotten a pony for her birthday. He did so in his head anyway.), Donna showed up, walking into the room.

"Hey guys!" She greeted excitedly before she was hugged by the lead investigators.

Steve could only stay sprawled out on the couch in a sitting position, waving. "Hey Donna. You know anything about what's going on?"

She made a zipper motion on her lips, before sitting on the other end of the couch. "My lips are sealed. I promised not to tell."

"This is just wonderful." Jason huffed. "I was winning."

At that statement, Grant rolled his eyes. _Oh for-- it was a game of Go-Fish!_

"Alright, finished!" Kris declared as she and Tango went to sit next to each other in the middle of the couch, Tango next to Steve and Kris next to Donna.

"What the-- My kid had one of these things!" Jason took notice of the device plugged into the TV. "I forgot what it was called..?"

"A Nintendo 64. N64 for short." Kris supplied, pleased with herself. "Hope you guys know how to play, and are up for a little challenge."

Grant and Jason shared a look between themselves, and knowing each other for years, knew that each other and themselves would not back down from a friendly challenge. "You're on."

"Good." Kris picked up the remote for the TV and turned it on. "I thought we'd start with a little Super Smash Brother's."

Tango was practically bouncing in his seat from excitement.

"Would you stop that." Steve mumbled.

"Stop what?" Okay, so Tango was literally bouncing in his seat.

"The bouncing or whatever you're doing."

"You weren't complaining last night." Tango mumbled, his excited moment ruined.

Steve was taken back by the comment. "Well, this is different. You're jiggling my leg around."

"Oh!" Kris suddenly said out loud, turning to the men in the room. Donna was her accomplice for this little mission of glory, so they had already discussed the dirty details of the competition. "I forgot about the rules."

"Of course." Grant nodded his head. "I was kind of expecting them."

"Okay, well first off, there's only four controller slots so as you know only two teams can play at once. This brings us to our second, third and fourth rule." She explained, handing the four controllers to each of the men. They'd battle first, which Kris hoped would bring lots of opportunities to laugh at them because of it.

"Once you pick a character, you _have_ to stay with that character. This also means you have to stick with your team member, no switching, and you can only have one team color." She paused for a moment. "And I'm pretty sure we all know who is going to be teamed with who."

"Dude, Jay, you better not suck at this game." Grant flashed a teasing smile at his best friend.

Jason laughed and smiled back. "Me? If we lose it'll be all your fault."

Meanwhile Kris had borrowed Tango's controller to set up the game details. She had allowed all items, and they were going to fight within a set time limit.

"Dude, we so call the green team." Tango changed the color of character one.

Steve turned to look at Tango after he changed player two to green also. "That's so what I was thinking about!"

"Yeah!" They fist-bumped.

"I guess we can be red then." Grant commented, unsure of which character to choose. "Who are you going to be?" He looked over to Jason.

"I'm going to go for the guy with the mustache, in red."

"Cool. I guess I'll go for the other guy with a mustache, in green." Grant squinted at the screen slightly. "I think we're wearing matching outfits..."

"Wow." Steve whispered to Dave playfully jabbing him in the ribs. "That's pretty gay of them. Don't you think?"

Dave giggled. "Yeah. Who does that? Seriously."

Kris snorted. "Are you two serious?" She said directed toward Jason and Grant. It was pretty freakin' funny that out of all of the characters, they both choose the plumber brothers.

Holding her face in her hands, Donna was shaking with laughter and was attempting to hold it in. _Must not laugh at your boss... must not laugh at your boss... must not laugh at your boss..._

"What?" Grant asked, looking back and forth between everyone with a confused face. "I don't get it."

"It's nothing, nothing. Don't worry about it." Kris waved her hand is dismissal and her and Donna both controlled their giggle-fit.

"Right." Jason glared. They were probably just trying to use mind-games on them in hopes of using it against them. "You two hurry and pick your characters out."

"Ah, okay." Steve began looking through all of the characters in front of him on the TV screen. "This dude looks cool." He selected Captain Falcon. He really hadn't known who to pick, but Dave had given him an encouraging smile so he figured he had made a good choice.

"I choose this character." Dave had selected Jigglypuff.

"What?" Jason looked over to him shocked. "That little thing? We're gonna kick your ass."

"You just wait and see." Tango said with determination, staring at the TV screen in defiance.

"So I'm guessing you know what you're doing then?" Steve whispered as they started the game.

"Duh. I used to play this all the time." He whispered back to Steve with confidence before addressing everyone in the room. "How about the battleship arena?"

"Okay." Grant shrugged, nudging Jason to stay quiet. He needed to keep his cool.

"Whatever, let's just kick some ass!" Jason growled with enthusiasm.

Donna nudged Kris and rolled her eyes. "Men." Kris giggled.

The boys had been playing for only about a minute and a half when Mario was suddenly killed. "Grant! I just died!" Jason shouted, about to throw the controller against the wall. "I'm on your team, stop hitting me!"

"What--! Man, I'm so sorry--!"

"He can't hit you." Kris said smugly, her arms crossed at her chest. "No friendly fire here. You probably jumped off of the ledge yourself."

"Damn Tango." Steve said aloud. "You're really good at this." Tango grinned.

"Thank God Brian isn't here, I can imagine him swearing up a storm."

"Did I hear someone say my fucking name?!" Brian yelled, slamming the front door open looking like he'd been through hell and back. His shirt was torn in odd places, and he had dirt stains all over him covering some minor scabs except one large one on his shoulder.

Tango gasped. "Dude! What _happened_ to you?"

"Did you get hit by a car?" Steve asked.

Brian huffed and stepped forward. "Do you know what its LIKE to be left behind in fucking MICHIGAN. I had to walk all the way home, and my only attempts a hitchhiking ended up with a bicycle rider running ME over! I walked... for days..." His voice suddenly went darker. "So many people... fucking laughing! Then after days of walking with FUCKING BLISTERS covering both of my FUCKING feet. It happened. I got a FUCKING ride! AND do you KNOW what he FUCKING WANTED as payment?!" He yelled kicking the coffee table. "FUCK!" He yelled hoping on his foot, remembering his blisters.

Tango backed up into Steve's chest scared of Brian strange aggressiveness. "W-what?"

"You don't fucking want to know the fucking answer to that!" It was then that Brian noticed the 64 laying out in front of them. "No fucking way! I haven't seen one of those in forever!" Just like that, all hints of vengeance left the atmosphere.

"Yo-You wanna play?" Jason and Grant asked at the same time.

"FUCK yeah! NO fucking WAY! Army Men Sarges Heroes! We're playing this." He grabbed it.

"But-!" Tango was about to say, Brian immediately gave him a glare.

"I'm not playing that gay crap. I'll watch." Jason said.

Grant nodded. "Me to."

"Steve, Tango... Kris?" Brian asked. Steve and Tango nodded.

"That's ok... I have to use the restroom..." Kris said stepping out.

"Alright you two. It's fucking war..."Brian said grabbing the controller.

The game started and the three were having troubles picking a map. "KITCHEN!"

"THAT'S TOO FUCKING EASY! THE LIVING ROOM WOULD BE BETTER!"

"THAT'S IT!" Grant yelled, being the peacemaker. "Your going to the Sandcastle. End of story."

They rolled their eyes and picked it anyway. Out of all the male characters. Tango was the only one to pick the one and only girl.

"Are you fucking retarded?" Brian asked, noticing Steve's character was blue.

"What?"

"Whatever. Game on. Your going down, fuckers."

The game started. About two minutes in Brian was announced as a cheater.

"Steve! STOP killing meee!" Tango whined. He seemed to be the only one dying a lot.

Just then Brian shot Steve's guy. "STEVE YOU FUCKING CHEATER!"

"I'm NOT a FUCKING CHEATER!"

Tango sighed and put his controller down. "And I wanted to have a Tea Party... not play video games..." He muttered.

"Dave..." Steve looked over to Tango. "I-I didn't know you felt that way, I've been wanting to do that with you since--" Steve's character had been sniped in the head by Brian.

"BOOM BITCHES!" Brian fist-pumped. "You guys fucking suck at this game."

Donna coughed. "Uh, yeah, Kris might need help in the bathroom or something. She's been in the there for awhile, so I'm, uh, gonna go..." She stood up nervously, pointing toward the general direction of the bathroom. "Bye!" She squeaked running away.

"Hey yeah, I think I have to go to the bathroom too." Grant stood up. "Thank God we have more than one bathroom!" He said scurrying away. "You guys have fun..."

"I should go also." Jason decided to take his leave. "Grant needs my help all the time in the bathroom." Suddenly he he stopped, and turned around to face them again. "And don't friggin' break anything, okay?"

"Ay, what the fuck?" Brian yelled as he noticed everyone left except for himself, Steve and Tango. "This shit is just starting to get good!" He in turn killed Tango's character again. "AHA! Suck on that Tango."

"Okay that's it! How dare you insist I suck on something of yours!" Tango shouted, now actually tossing his controller away from himself.

Brian looked confused, "Hey, uh well, I thought you and fuckin' Steve here were--"

"--Look, can we play something a little less violent?" Tango cut him off looking a bit red. He took a few calming breaths before picking another game up. "Let's play this, Hey You Pikachu!"

"What no fucking way man, that's stupid you asshole!" Brian wanted to argue.

"Dude, Brian, just let him play it." Steve stepped in. "We played the game you wanted to play for a long time."

"You two are total dicks man, you guys fucking _suck_."

x x x

Two minutes later the trio had been introduced to Professor Oak as he started to tell them what their 'objective' was to do in the game.

"This is fucking gay man, just A smash through the dialogue..." Brian said, not looking to happy that they had to play 'Hey You, Pikachu!' next just because gay ass Tango wanted to. "Tango your such a fag, you _played_ this as a kid?" He asked, disbelievingly.

Tango's cheeks went red and he stuttered, embarrassed. "S-Shut it!"

Two more minutes into the game and Tango was in full control of the main character, Brian was getting really agitated now and wanted to play a game with more action and guns. Even Steve was starting to get bored.

Steve placed his hand on Tango's thigh to get his attention. "Wha?" Tango asked, pausing the game. He was so into the game that he was collecting Pika Points. Tango's gaze went down to where Steve had placed his hand. "Wha?" He asked again.

"I WANNA PLAY A GOD DAMN SHOOTER GAME DAMMIT!" Brian yelled for him.

Steve removed his hand, pointing at Brian sheepishly. "What he said."

"Oh, Okay..." Dave said, sadly.

x x x

Meanwhile in the what appeared to be a extremely large uni-sex bathroom...

"Oh my god, I swear guys and video games..." Kris muttered, fixing her hair in the mirror.

"Hey Jay!" Grant called from one of the stalls.

Jason cleared his throat from his stall. "Yeah, buddy?"

"Can you help me with my pants?"

Kris started coughing awkwardly, blushing. "Oh my... Oh my... I'm uh... I have paper work to do..." She quickly fled from the bathroom.

"What?" Jason asked, flushing his toilet and exiting the stall.

"My zipper won't come down."

"Just jerk it a little..." He replied, turning on the water to wash his hands.

"Ah! Got it! Thanks."

"No problem."

Donna had decided that she might as well go and help Kris, instead of standing around and doing nothing while the team bonded and took down time, in the very _very_ odd way that they did so.

"Phew." Kris sighed, collapsing into one of those twisty office chairs that made whooshing noises when you sat on it. "Maybe it was a bad idea to bring the game system along."

Donna sat down at the table next to her. "Nah. But it is getting the boys out of our hair!" She joked, before they burst out into a fit of giggles.

"That's true." Kris calmed and fished around for a pen on the desk.

"So what do you have in mind to do?"

"I'm not sure." Kris shrugged. "Want to research places to investigate?"

- - - - -

By now Tango was pouting sullenly near the couch, annoyed that he couldn't help his Pokemon friends make any food with the help of his best friend, Pikachu. Instead he had to listen to loud swearing and explosions...

"Haha, take that sucka'! Ya douche bag!" Brian was now playing Duke Nukem, smashing the buttons excitedly as he killed off aliens.

Steve looked back at Tango, sad he was witnessing his best friend so... sad.

He scooted away from Brian (who was way to busy to notice and care) until he was next to Dave. "Hey." he mumbled a greeting, bumping shoulders with him gently.

Tango just shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to say anything at the moment.

"Sorry you know. It makes him happy and easier to be around, ya know what I mean?" And that was true, because it was a lot easier to be around a swearing and loud Brian when he wasn't being loud and swearing at **you**.

"Oh." Tango snapped. "So you'd rather make him happy than me huh? Is that what you're saying?"

Steve didn't rise to the bait of Tango's snippiness, keeping his mouth shut for a moment because he didn't want to accidentally say anything that would really turn things for the worse. "No, David, that not what I'm--"

"Shut up, _Steven_!" Tango stood up off of the ground. "And I thought you loved me!"

Steve sat there in shock as he witnessed Tango running from the room, crying.

"Haaay bay-_bee_!" Brian wolf-whistled at the girl on the screen, completely ignoring anything else around him because he was so absorbed into the game. "Need any saving from your fucking knight in goddamn shining armor?"

Steve ran out of the room after him, following the sounds of a little girl crying like her first crush just split Kool-Aid on her. "TANGO!" He yelled. He following the loud girly crying all the way into the uni-sex bathroom.

"Ok, all you have to do is tug it a little and I'm sure it will come out." Grants obvious voice had suggested to an unknown person that Steve was unaware of. Beyond this awkward scene that Steve had just stumbled into hearing range was the sound of a little girl crying.

Steve cleared his throat. Taking Grant and Jason off guard. "Hurry, Jason!" Grant yelled.

"Okay, seriously guys! I'm trying to consult my lover, get a room."

"WE'RE NOT GAY!" They both yelled.

"He was just helping me with my zipper!" Grant yelled than quickly added. "Wait! That didn't come out right! It got stuck. N-"

"What Grant is trying to say is... this doesn't leave the bathroom." Jason covered.

"Okay, guys." Steve said, than walked over to the stall. "Hey, buddy."

"Go away." Tango said in a harsh scratchy voice.

Steve went to go sit down on the toilet in the next stall. "Ya, know. I didn't mean it like that. You know you always come first in my book. Brian was just being an ass."

"Really?" Tango asked.

"Yeah, buddy."

"I gotta get outta here..." Jason said, leaving that bathroom.

"Right behind you." Grant added.

Tango sniffled and waited to speak before he knew that Jason and Grant had left the bathroom to probably get that room Steve was talking about.

"Steve..."

"Yes Dave?" Their voices were echoing in the now empty bathroom.

"I'm so sorry!" Tango said quickly, not wanting to turn into a blubbering mess again. "I didn't mean to be so jealous!"

Steve heard the sound of a stall door unlocking, so he decided to stand up and go outside as well. Dave was standing there with big, watery eyes and Steve couldn't help but rush over and embrace him.

"Oh _Steven_!"

"Oh _David_!"

That's when Brian decided to walk in. "Ay, I was fucking wondering where everyone fucking went off to-- Woah. You two fucking kissin' or somethin' in here? I should fucking call my goddamn girlfriend and tell her about this shit."

Tango blushed and kept his arms around Steve. "Would you just shut the hell up for once? Go play your violent video games."

Brian's mouth fell open. "I ain't even heard you fucking cuss before dude. That's fucking insane man!" He turned back toward the door. "I'm definitely fucking calling my girlfriend and updating her on my fucking sweet-ass life. PEACE."

"Wow." Steve's eyebrows rose. "That was weirder than the time Sassy threw up a hairball, and I had decided not to clean it up because it was so gross and because I didn't clean it up it saved my life because my basement was leaking gas and I didn't breathe it in."

"...What?"

"Hey! I have a great idea!" Steve quickly changed the subject.

"Does it involve my Hello Kitty blanket?" Tango looked up into Steve's eyes and batted his eyelashes flirtatiously.

"No, but it involves hot dogs, my van and a new pair of shoes!" Steve grinned down at him.

"I hate hot dogs." Tango frowned. "And that sounds sort of kinky."

"Er, okay." Steve was puzzled by the kinky comment. "And I thought you liked my hot dog?"

Tango turned a weird shade of purple. "So not what I meant. What did you mean then?"

"Shoe shopping at the mall? Riding in my van and eating hot dogs? A sexual innuendo thrown in to keep things spicy?" Steve read off of a hypothetical list.

"What? I thought you meant sex in your van while wearing new shoes and then going out to eat hot dogs afterward. You should be more specific." Tango had a serious look on his face.

Steve stared at Tango like he had just grown another head, a now awkward silence filling into where there had been severe confusion from both parties.

Suddenly Tango's mouth fell open and he gasped. "Shoe shopping?! That's a bit gay."

- - - - -

"Are we there yet?" Tango moaned. "I'd like to get there before the age of 70."

Steve rolled his eyes from behind the steering wheel. "Shush! Don't make me put a hot dog down your throat."

Tango's face paled before he scowled and looked out the passenger's side window. "You already _do_ do that to me..." He mumbled.

"Look," Steve sighed "We just have to turn the corner on the next block and we'll be there. Don't get your panties into a bunch." He patted Tango's thigh for reassurance.

They both kept silent after that, Steve from joy that he was going to spend time with Dave and not have stinky Brian-barf shoes while Dave was embarrassed because he had thought Steve didn't know that he was actually wearing panties.

"We're heeere!" Steve announced, driving into the parking lot and began looking for a spot to park the van.

"Oh thank God!" Tango let out a breath. "Those shoes better look good on you or I'm going to be very upset I spent this much time shoe shopping!"

Steve deflated a little. "I told you I'd Tivo that movie on LOGO! You're not going to miss anything!"

They walked into the mall, debating and bickering whether or not to hold hands.

"Why? What's the big deal?"

"B-Because!" Tango sputtered and began to blush. "People are going to notice and _stare_!"

"I notice you and I stare at you." Steve deadpanned.

"Just shut up!" Tango punched Steve in the arm and began to walk faster. "Let's get your stupid shoes."

- - - - -

"Dave, look!" Steve held up a pair of shoes. "Hello Kitty!"

Tango glared. "Those are for little girls!"

"That hasn't stopped you before from wearing anything like that." Steve set the shoes back down. He frowned upon looking at Dave's upset face. "I was only kidding."

"Whatever." Tango muttered. "We're not cuddling tonight. At. All."

"What?" Steve furrowed his brows. "Nevermind. I think these are cool." He held up a pair of running shoes.

"Ew. What are you, the Runaway Bride?"

Steve smirked, and he just couldn't hold in the comment that was on the tip of his tongue. "And you know about this movie, how exactly?"

"I found it in Jason's movie collection!" Tango defended himself. "I think he and Grant were watching it together."

"Too much information." Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. "I didn't need to know that bit of info. Thank you, thank you very much."

Steve decided that they were taking too long to pick out a pair of shoes, so he started picking up more than one pair to show to Dave. "How about these?"

"No, no, maybe, no, yes..." Tango was looking at the pairs of shoes and deciding which ones he liked best on a pair of Steve invisible feet.

They both finally agreed and Steve picked out a pair of black sneakers. Soon they were back to van, getting ready to leave the parking lot.

"So ready to eat my-- I mean a hot dog?" Steve asked casually right before they pulled out of the parking lot. When they came home later, he found a large bruise on his shoulder.

* * *

Um... yeah. For anyone watching GHA, it was pretty funny to us to find out that Steve taking his own life to save Tango from a large motor vehicle is canon. XD

Next chapter, they take a trip to the Ford House.


End file.
